As August approaches, I will embark on a 31 day journey. Carry my camera with me everywhere, take a picture daily, of something that makes me stop, makes me think, moves me emotionally in some way. This is the final 31 days until I turn 40 on September 1st. I hope to be quiet, stop and watch, listen to God's voice. In this 31 day photo shoot, I hope to hear from God, take time to fully see His creation, and find scripture that correlates with each photo in my mind, getting me into the Word daily. A few others will join me on their own journeys, I hope they are blessed as well. I will post daily, except when I am in Maine for a few days, I will post a multi-day post when I return. Pray for me to see the world as God sees it through the lens of my camera.
I was blessed when God entrusted me to nurture and carry Gael into this world. I have been blessed again to come full circle, beginning a new journey of love and family. She is a bright and shining star in God's kingdom. Her joy and laughter fill me up. My heart is now whole, that empty space over 18 years is full again. I was overcome with emotion seeing her again, and have to admit impatience now, because I want more. More time. More hugs. More talks. More of looking into her beautiful face, her loving eyes. Thank you God, for our blessed reunion and thank you for the journey we are embarking on. My love is overflowing for her. My daughter. My friend. I can only pray that she and I will have the friendship that my mother and I have one day. God's love will build a bridge, between her heart and mine.
I've been working on this all week, little by little each day, it is complete. I have to say I enjoyed going back to it every day, seeing it with fresh eyes, giving myself a few peaceful moments to reflect on my upcoming biopsy on Monday. This painting, has been a work in progress, just like me, learning to trust and not be afraid of what's to come.
He is with me, every morning when I wake, every step I take.
I painted this old salvaged table last year. It had been dumped on the side of the road after a FL hurricane and so I carted it all the way up to PA because I thought it had good bones! I like to save things! So, I've never been overly in love with the end result, but it's purpose was a painting table anyway in my new studio. Some of the first painting I had ever done. I am very critical of myself, having a difficult time walking away and being at peace with what I've done when it comes to art. So, I've just been piling stuff on it for months, covering it up. Then the other day, the weather eased up and the cooler breezes came (gone now of course), so I decided to move this table onto my front porch; to eat at it, browse blogs on laptop, enjoy the relief in the weather, ect. Because the table was right in front of me again, I was forced to look at it. Little by little I started breaking it down in 'my arts eye', piece by piece, looking at it from different angles, finding beauty in the little parts that had nothing to do with the painting as a whole. Camera out and I start shooting. I love some of the pics I came up with! What do you think???
So I found out last night I have to go for a biopsy on Monday. I am a 'worry-wort'! That's what I am. Emotional, wear my heart on my sleeve, that's what I am.
Hence the above, 'Fear Not'.
I started a mixed media canvas last night, which I will entitle 'Fear Not'.
As, I paint and emerge myself into my creative process, juices flowing, my favorite worship music playing as I hum along (okay..sing at the top of my lungs), I plan on repeating a few things into my little worry-filled brain.
Fear not, because He will not leave me or forsake me, He does not give me anything I can't handle, I can do anything because He strengthens me, my journey was planned before I was ever born so this is supposed to happen, He holds my every tear in the palm of His hand.....His words are my rock, my strength. He is a miracle worker, the Master physician, a loving and merciful God who unconditionally gives me grace over and over and over.
I plan on finishing this painting by Monday. It doesn't usually take me that long, but I need to do a little each day to keep myself in check. I know worry is a sin. But I am human. I am imperfect. I am a mother, a wife~ my family needs me. So..I worry. Therefore; I am SO thankful and blessed beyond measure to have my Lord and Savior to remind me in His Word, in answers to prayer or maybe by the 2 sparrows that fluttered right at my kitchen window yesterday morning (they have never been that close to our home), that He loves me unconditionally and is at my side ALWAYS!
My little doodlebug (I'm not supposed to say that anymore..'Mom I'm a teenager!')Full of life and laughs, adventure, loves his family and people, loves animals, wants to serve his country and community. My grey hair giver LOL!
Curious and always on the go!
~The light of my life~
So thankful God blessed me with this child.
He can be the light on a dark and dreary day with his laughter, humor and antics. Brings a smile to those in his presence.
My oldest son. Senior year of high school. I am so excited for him to end a part of his childhood journey only to begin his adult life. My oldest son, serious, full of emotion, full of love, shy with a quiet sense of humor, loves his family, evolving into a man who loves Christ and wants his life to glorify God, talented and visionary, wants to serve others. I am so blessed that God gave me this child to raise. He has blessed me in ways beyond measure. Though I will feel loss when he begins to go out on his own, I will also feel joy and hope for him.
~My love for him is deeper than the sea~
The man he is becoming is an inspiration to me. I will take his joy for life and his passion for his enduring faith on my new journey.
Today as I was driving home from work, window down, first actual comforting breeze in days, it dawned on me that it was a beautiful morning to take pictures. Sky was hazy & overcast. I felt a strong urge to photograph my boys. I drove around a little longer before turning towards home, looking for spots that spoke to me in some way to use as backgrounds. Got home, put blueberry cornbread in the oven to bake and prepped a chef salad for dinner, went upstairs and woke up my boys. I still love watching them wake up out of a good sleep, voices groggy, rubbing their eyes and stretching. I announced the plan and after a small amount of grumbling they appeared and got ready for our excursion. This post is not about the great pictures I took today, moments captured of them. It is about a wrong turn we took, out exploring, ending up in a cemetery. A quiet place that seemed plopped down right in the middle of a neighborhood. As we were driving through, a large statue caught my eye.
Turns out it was an area for Catholic priests as several had headstones around the statue. 'Stop' I said. Wanting to take a quick photo of the statue. But as I zoomed in from the passenger seat, I opened the car door and began walking towards it.
I felt such a calling to get close, to zoom my lens in on the small intricate details. Not one full image photo, but to capture the inner parts that I was being drawn to.
The sacrifice in Jesus eyes, pain in His face...
God's hand, desperately reaching for His son's. I wanted to reach up and hold His hand, touch His fingertips, I could sense the love in every detail. I longed to belong.
It was overwhelming, the feelings I was having as I snapped picture after picture. I wanted to stay in 'Their' presence.
It was so peaceful. Quiet. A moment to reflect. Be Close. Be thankful. Be grateful.
To be loved.
As I turned to walk away, appreciative that my boys allowed me that moment on my own, I almost felt spiritually cleansed, renewed. A moment that is with me on my new journey.
I hope these photos speak to you, ignite something in your souls!
So...after long thought, I have decided to start a blog. So many things get in the way...fear and worry mostly (I am working on that!), that no one will be interested in my little spot of the world. Lack of confidence in myself and my artistic ability. But I NEED this to move forward on my journey. I NEED this! One of my favorite quotes..."His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.' is something I try to tell myself frequently. 'Not a sparrow falls...'. I am approaching the big '40'. So many mixed feeling about that...but mostly the question that keeps popping up is 'Where do I want the next leg of my journey to lead?' So many things I want to do different this time around. To me, turning 40 feels like a fresh start, it does not scare me, it does not make me feel OLD, in fact I want to embrace it with every fiber in my being! Stopping to see all God's beauty around me, breathing it in, filling my soul with those special moments that we ALL tend to pass up. As they say, stop sweating the small stuff! The things that bog us down are so insignificant compared to God's love and grace. One day at a time!
I want my blog to reflect the things I love. Moments captured on camera of everyday life that make me stop and think, make me smile, speak to me. To share my art, my knitting, soap making, my home. Hopefully inspire or make just one person smile. To share my faith.
I have quietly admired several blogs for some time. LOVE Artful Blogging by Somerset Studio and breath in every entry, every photo. My goal? Start joining those blogs and speaking up, letting my secret kindred souls know how much their blogs have moved and inspired me.