the chance to be 'me'

most days i know what is expected of me.

wife, mom, daughter, friend, nurse.

the days run into each other.

years go by.

when i started this blog on my 'verge of turning 40' i knew i was finding 'me'.

trying to discover where my life was going.

and who i wanted to be.

trying to choose my path.

make wiser decisions.

so many things have happened in this past year.

good things.

not so good things.

all in all, many blessings.

to many to list.

i know in my heart of hearts what direction i want my life to go.

the problem is how to make it happen.

my desire, passion, creative vision are all there.

it's just the financial hurdles.

i remember several weeks ago i was on a dinner break at work and just happened to drive by a photographer in the middle of a shoot on the side of the road. surrounded by wildflowers.

i was jealous.

really jealous.

knowing i was on my way back to the paycheck that supports my family.

the much needed paycheck.

but, so totally jealous!

i didn't know her circumstances.

but she looked so happy doing what she obviously loved.

i wanted to be in her shoes.

to jump off my road and take the side road i have not travelled.

i cannot change the 'wife, mom, daughter, friend' part of me.

nor would i ever want to.

but i do want change.

i want to have the chance to be

'me'

shay